It’s time for some light hearted “Beaking News!” Yes, that’s spelled right… Beaking!
In a recent survey, we found the majority of wildlife are not aware of human programming and make their decisions based on nature and convenience, versus marketing hype. They tend to observe and learn quickly from trial and error.
In a recent scientific study… we found that birds in the wildlife used materials in nest building that were practical and served their needs, while human A.I. programming had no affect on their decisions.
We interviewed over 100 birds of various species in the region and found that 98% of them prefer cigarette butts over other various forms of parasite nesting protection such as margarine wrappers with bits of margarine still attached, and half eaten Doritos. 45% of birds interviewed said they prefer butts that still contain some tobacco, over butts that have been smoked down to the filter.
The other 2% prefer plastic straws which are now less available than in past nesting seasons, and are considered a rare but valuable item among nest builders.
Of those surveyed it was close to a tie when asked whether they (the birds) preferred menthol or nonmenthol, it was 48% preferred menthol, 42% preferred nonmenthol, and 10% had no preference. Of the 10% who had no preference, 8% said it’s whatever they found first, and 2% had never really thought about that as an issue when building their nest and stressed that both were acceptable.
Out of the 98% that prefer cigarette butts, 47% said they would be open to trying alternatives if they were provided and contained nicotine, but ruled out Vape containers because they said those took up too much room in the nest and they were not practical as they did not blend with other nesting materials gathered and did not contain tar which is a byproduct of burning the nicotine and the key to the success of warding off mites and other parasites.
Mrs. Robin had this to say, “You can’t fool a mite. They know the difference between nicotine and the raw, tarry stuff after it’s burned. Mites will crawl all over vape juice bottles… but they sure won’t go near a cig butt”.
Mrs. Sparrow used a vape juice bottle in her nest last year and found it hard, if not impossible, to get it out of her nest. She told our reporter that it was Mr. Squirrel who put it there or left it there, she wasn’t sure of his intention, but it was by mistake. Mrs. Sparrow said that is how she learned about the vape containers. When it happened, she tells us that she sang out her warning early in the morning all through the day.”
We asked Mr. Squirrel and he said it was true, and when it happened, all the little birdies on Jay Bird Street went tweet, tweet, tweet.
We also ran into Big Bird and he had some questions.
When the reporter was leaving he was stopped by a Big Bird who was at the park where the interview with Mr. Squirrel was held.
The big bird stopped our reporter and said,
“Excuse me but the kid friends on Says-N-Me street are asking me lots of questions. Sadly I don’t have answers. I asked Miss Piggy and she said she would get back to me. I asked Kermit and he said, ask Miss Piggy. So may I ask you their curious questions?”
Our reporter said sure, ask away. The big bird proceeded, “Kids are asking me why podcasters are asking for money, money, money, and selling everything they can, including paid memberships that are automatically deducted from their mommie and daddy’s bank accounts, while at the same time they are saying mommy and daddy’s banks are going to close and keep all their money and they will lose everything? How do I answer that?” Our reporter was stunned. We have live footage of him scratching his head and answering the Big Bird, saying, “Ask Miss Piggy.”
Later that same day, our reporter was on social media and saw Miss Piggy’s podcast. She was selling flashlights, diamonds and precious metals with Kermit… asking for donations so they could continue to give people the news about the banks closing and taking all of their money.
Our reporter was curious and phoned in and asked Miss Piggy why she was taking the useless Fiat Dollar in return for gold and having people use their bank debit and credit cards for monthly memberships when everything was going to crash?
She answered, “Ask Big Bird.”
Miss Piggy then hung up and Kermit said, “Next caller…”
KEEP ON PRESSING INTO THE KINGDOM! PRESS, PRESS, PRESS!
DIANNE
